I took a trip this weekend, sort of like a vacation with the semester
I was at a point where I might as well have been operating on automatic, everything felt like a chore, I felt like I was constantly in slow motion; that doesn’t work well with 5 masters classes and a job
I felt like I was drowning, I felt like I was suffocating, the only light I saw seemed to simply scream ‘Give Up’, shining brightly like the neon lights showing the way to an exit
so I took my vacation from work, missed my Thursday evening and Friday classes and took a long weekend.
I went out of the Country. I didn’t go very far.
I came back feeling worse than when I left
I seemed to have lost faith in everything
I just couldn’t see the point… of anything
I was soooo tired. I was just tired.
And I couldn’t even say why.
My best friend.
I finally spoke to him, finally found some time in my “busy life”
I typed and I cried, I talked and I cried… I let it all out
The serious issues, the silly things
The things I could explain, the ones that didn’t even make sense at all
And he listened, sometimes, he didn’t even try to make sense of it, he just listened
And then I suddenly saw some new light and it didn’t say ‘give up’
I finally took a breath
I finally felt the load lift away
I used to say I didn’t believe in the “concept” of best friends
But I am so glad I have one.
I finally found my way back to Him
I’ve been “so busy”, saying a very short prayer seemed all I was capable of
But in the last few days,
I’m finding myself again
I’m re-discovering who Jesus Christ is to me
It’s Christmas-time after all, what better time than now?
This special relationship was meant to be
He loves me and it’s on me that I forget that sometimes
It’s the 20th day in December; 2 days to my birthday, 5 days to Christmas
And I am excited about everything
I simply needed to remember “talk, talk, talk, it always helps”
My best friend; I love you N. Thank you for always being there when I fall back. Thank you for being you.
Jesus Christ; The one who loves me even when I’m unworthy. I’m overwhelmed by your love and patience towards me.
– Adeola Matemilola