‘that girl’

It happened.
I finally became that girl
that girl who I said I would never be
that girl who I condemned with my eyes and in my thoughts
that girl “who had no idea what self-worth meant”
I became that girl
the one who you use so you don’t feel useless
the one who you use to fill the space between today and tomorrow when you will see ‘HER’ again
the one who didn’t really mean anything but was stupid enough to believe that she meant everything
the one who was trusting enough that you didn’t even have to try very hard
the one who loved you enough that every word out of your mouth became her Gospel
I became that girl
she knows but she convinces herself this is real, or maybe she’s just lying to herself and she knows it
she forces herself not to see past your smile; that smiles that bring the butterflies in her stomach to life
she focuses on a future she sees and pretends today doesn’t matter.
she knows… she pretends not to know
she knows… she’s not really sure what she knows anymore
“quick, get behind the curtains, and don’t worry, tomorrow will be different”
“I love you”… Do those words actually mean anything at all?

She shuts her diary, turns on the stove, she puts the diary against the dancing flames and watches as it slowly burns away.
The tears filling her eyes and she says goodbye… this time she knows, she had to stop being ‘that girl’

©Adeola Matemilola 2014

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9 thoughts on “‘that girl’

  1. miss bee says:

    “That girl“ Everyone has to go through the journey of self development wrapped in layers of emotional unbreakable bonds.Time is the only factor that breaks these bonds.I love this piece dee.x0x0

      • Aww, thanks for sharing your work with us too… some of us are scared to be that open, lol! It’s nice to know we are not alone and someone out there speaks our thoughts as vividly as we experience them. Keep up the good work, and I can’t wait to see your post on the award 🙂

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