A very good friend saved me today with these words; “so, write for yourself and people like you.”
Yes, I did mean SAVE.
I haven’t written anything in such a long time and I have been completely miserable, it felt like I was falling down a deep hole and I just didn’t care anymore, I didn’t care if I reached the bottom, I didn’t care if I simply kept falling and pushed how this made me feel into the very back of my mind and my heart, I refused to feel anything.
I couldn’t write, I was dying and I didn’t care.
This all happened because I let someone’s words have power over me.
It wasn’t a critic of my style of writing or word combination or grammer; it was an attack of my core, my personality, my psychology, my humanity, he (this pastor) told me in no uncertain terms that I write what I write on social issues because I have lived an unbalanced life and because I come from a disassembled community. He told me that what I write is my reality alone and it would be impossible for anyone else to relate, he told me that there wasn’t any need to share my work because it spoke only to and about me.
He had only ever heard one piece from me “mommy, I feel it too” but he put me and everything I’d ever written in one box.
I haven’t written since that day and I never even realised why until a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned the incident to my sister.
So obviously, there’s only one course of action now, I am taking my voice back.
I choose to “write for myself and people like me”
I apologise to everyone who follows me still even though I have basically been a waste of space (on your wordpress)
I also sincerely apologise for allowing one man’s opinions over-ride all of the wonderful feedback I get from all you lovely people.
I thank everyone who continues to support and especially read and critic. I am grateful, because in the end, you guys are my push.
My voice is my own. I will always speak my truth.