23rd December is just another day now.

It would have been your birthday today; so many years have passed and I barely even think about it much or get sad about it.
But on some days, like today, I do, I remember and I feel it all.

What would it have been like, if you were still here?
Would my life be any different?
Would I live here?
Would I have this job?
Would I be married?
Would I have kids?
Would I be travelling the world?
Would I be even more broken?
Would my pieces have come together, held lovingly in place by a mother’s love?

I remember you at random times and it takes all of me to hold back the tears.
I don’t feel scared or lost without you;
You left me with the most awesome support system headed by the absolute best man I know;
Zainab is only the strongest, most intelligent person I know,
Your baby boy, Musa, is an amazing strong-willed human being who knows exactly what he wants and goes for it everday,
And you would be absolutely proud of the beautiful woman Ore is becoming everyday;
Saying I am proud of these 3 everyday is an understatenent.

However, I wonder and sometimes worry; would you be proud of me?
Am I the current best version of me?
Could I have been better for now?
Am I doing life right?

There’s absolutely no reason to be dwelling on thoughts such as this.
Afterall, life is for the living and I should focus on being the best I can at it.

But on some days, like today, I remember, I feel everything and I absolutely miss you.

And sometimes, it takes all of me to hold back from saying “…and my mom’s birthday is the 23rd”

 


©Adeola Matemilola 2016
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adeola Matemilola and aeyshadeedee.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

YOLO vs YODO

I saw a hand reach in through the window and snatch at my phone, startled, I moved away and he missed by mere inches, he calmly jogged away and out of the traffic just like a pedestrian crossing the road probably thinking to himself “oh shit! I didn’t get that, oh well, tomorrow’s another day. And nobody has a right to criticize my means of making a living, I must survive.” “After all, you only live once”
But I say… as he jogged back through traffic, a car could have run him over… If I had been prepared, I could have grabbed his hand and told my dad to drive and drag him along the road for a bit just to punish him (hahaha I kno! Twisted mind) … He could have stolen from someone and gotten caught and become the victim of a mob. “You only die once”

They had all gone to the beach, had fun, drank quite a lot, partied hard until really late. He’s driving but he’s had the most to drink because “he doesn’t really get drunk”. Nobody’s thinking about it though, everybody’s just having fun. Driving away from the beach, he pretended to want to slam into a couple of people, accelerating hard towards them and braking just short of hitting them, they’re all laughing and throwing insults at people. Everybody’s just having fun. “After all, you only live once”
But I say… what if the brake had failed or his feet had slipped and he had hit someone, what if in hurling insults at people, they had insulted someone that could have made them very sorry, what if they had been involved in an accident as a result of the alcohol and general excitement?
“You only die once”

You might go through life all careful and shit, not having too much fun, not taking too many chances… And die tomorrow.

You might go through life having way too much fun, taking every chance you get, speaking everything that’s on your mind… And live a hundred years to deal with the consequences.

YOLO vs YODO… My opinion is no one argument wins.
Which would you choose?
#teamYOLO or #teamYODO

 

©Adeola Matemilola 2012

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adeola Matemilola and aeyshadeedee.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.