I Love you, I Don’t.

Last night, I learnt two things about you.

One, I will always love you;
Even though you’ve broken me down again and again,
Stomped on my heart, used it as a Frisbee, throwing it and not caring where it lands or who catches it,
Acting like my heart was nothing,
Like my love meant nothing.

Two, you are selfish;
I gave you everything,
You gave me almost nothing,
Taking me for granted in every way possible but I couldn’t see it,
You twisted and turned me,
Your problems were our problems.
My problems were silly.

I loved you…You know I did.
Maybe it was too much,
Maybe my love was too strong,
Maybe you knew you didn’t deserve it.

I probably will always love you
but you no longer have that hold on me.

Actually, No.
I won’t always love you.
I no longer love you.

 


©Adeola Matemilola 2017

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“Happy ever after”

Perhaps our ‘happy’ exists in two beds
In two bedrooms,
In two houses,
In two cities,
In two seperate hearts,
With two seperate ‘ever-after’ heartbeats.


 

©Adeola Matemilola 2016
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Home

That look in your eyes that completes the sentences your lips start,
that tells me I am accepted wholly and completely,

The feel of your hand grasping mine that whispers that whether things get better or not, I’ll always be safe.

And when you say “I got you baby girl, forever and always”… I know that I am home.

 


©Adeola Matemilola 2016

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BTI 001

Alone. Lonely.
They say there’s a difference
But each can be like an abyss that slowly swallows a person,
Like a feeling of hopelessness that settles like a weight upon your shoulders.

What does it feel like to have no one?
To have trusted wrongly for so long that trust seems unreachable.
How does one get past having “people” and yet having no one?
How does the heart handle giving and never recieving?

Pain. Abyss. Hopelessness.

Maybe the path to freedom is that paved with acceptance.

… It’s only life.

 

©Adeola Matemilola 2016

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adeola Matemilola and aeyshadeedee.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Let’s run away

Let’s do it… right now,
Let’s not think about it,
Eyes opened or closed; it doesn’t matter,
Just imagine…
Let’s let the wind sweep us off our feet,
Let it take us where it may,
Let’s abandon the fear of the known and the unknown,
Replaced with a nervous excitement of come-what-mays,
The fights, the laughs, the moments that take our breath away.
But how long would this last? Who cares?
Let’s do it, let’s take nothing along, let’s run away.

 

©Adeola Matemilola 2016

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Live Actually.

Resisting… That’s all you’ve known,

Now you’re grown and resistance has become you,

Flowing through your veins like passion and blood,

Causing you to lose what should have been gain,

Causing you to live on the outside of the circle constantly… In fear of getting noticed.

Let go child, life is meant to be lived, not observed.

Fly, child, fly, let the eagle in you out and let the snail die.


©Adeola Matemilola 2015

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Friend.

Isn’t it funny how once upon a time,

We all played together,

Building sand castles together,

And then we each chose a partner and walked off into the sunset two by two…


©Adeola Matemilola 2015

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Over?

You owned me, I won’t lie,
every bit of me was wrapped up in a little bit of you,
you called and I came,
you moved and I did,
like the puppet master, you held on to the strings almost carelessly,
you had cast a spell I’m not even sure you knew about,
but it doesn’t matter now,
It’s done.
The spell has been broken.
The strings are cut.
I’m free…

and some nights, I still dream about you.


©Adeola Matemilola 2015

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adeola Matemilola and aeyshadeedee.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.